The best thing that you can do to maintain your masculine core is to learn the how to respond to a woman versus react to a woman. There are going to be many many times in a relationship where a woman's natural feminine chaos is going to make her emotional and test you. This may show itself in many ways, including getting angry at you for what seems to be no reason at all. This may even make her act in a way where she starts discussing wanting to end the relationship.
The way to make it through these tests is to respond to her in a clear and calm manner. You're going to want to validate her feelings and not argue against them. Arguing against them is only going to make the situation worse! This is going to be hard at first because it's likely going to cause you anxiety and anxiety is your enemy in these situations.
Your anxiety is going to be caused out of fear that she will think less of you or maybe even want to leave you. This is not the case! As GS Youngblood points out in The Masculine in a Relationship, you need to understand that the anxiety you feel is going to make you want to give into her demands because you think this will end her displeasure and your anxiety. The problem is that it will make you look weak and feminine.
The key to responding is to take the approach of listening and validating her emotion. Ask her clarifying questions based on what you hear so that you can get an absolutely clear picture of what's causing her emotions. For example, if your woman states that she is overwhelmed with a change in work and that you're acting in a way that is adding to her feeling of being overwhelmed, then respond with something like, "If I'm hearing you correctly, it seems that I've been adding to your stress by [restate the actions she told you] and that you would like me to do [what she said she wants you to do], is this correct?"
This type of response will get her to give you more information and give her an opportunity to correct you if she needs to. Your job is not to respond yet. Your job is to get more information. Read Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss to learn more about how to do this effectively.
As you continue to get her to talk more, then it's going to become apparent what is really driving her emotions. This is when you will need to make the decision to respond in the moment or to create some time to formulate a response. When you do respond, you'll want to validate her points again and then provide structure for how to move forward. It's your job to lead her and the relationship through this.
For more information on how to respond vs react, read The Masculine in a Relationship by GS Youngblood, as he provides some great examples of what responding vs reacting looks like and provides more framework to learn how to respond properly.
As always, if you need guidance in a situation like this, post up in the forums for feedback and advice.
The way to make it through these tests is to respond to her in a clear and calm manner. You're going to want to validate her feelings and not argue against them. Arguing against them is only going to make the situation worse! This is going to be hard at first because it's likely going to cause you anxiety and anxiety is your enemy in these situations.
Your anxiety is going to be caused out of fear that she will think less of you or maybe even want to leave you. This is not the case! As GS Youngblood points out in The Masculine in a Relationship, you need to understand that the anxiety you feel is going to make you want to give into her demands because you think this will end her displeasure and your anxiety. The problem is that it will make you look weak and feminine.
The key to responding is to take the approach of listening and validating her emotion. Ask her clarifying questions based on what you hear so that you can get an absolutely clear picture of what's causing her emotions. For example, if your woman states that she is overwhelmed with a change in work and that you're acting in a way that is adding to her feeling of being overwhelmed, then respond with something like, "If I'm hearing you correctly, it seems that I've been adding to your stress by [restate the actions she told you] and that you would like me to do [what she said she wants you to do], is this correct?"
This type of response will get her to give you more information and give her an opportunity to correct you if she needs to. Your job is not to respond yet. Your job is to get more information. Read Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss to learn more about how to do this effectively.
As you continue to get her to talk more, then it's going to become apparent what is really driving her emotions. This is when you will need to make the decision to respond in the moment or to create some time to formulate a response. When you do respond, you'll want to validate her points again and then provide structure for how to move forward. It's your job to lead her and the relationship through this.
For more information on how to respond vs react, read The Masculine in a Relationship by GS Youngblood, as he provides some great examples of what responding vs reacting looks like and provides more framework to learn how to respond properly.
As always, if you need guidance in a situation like this, post up in the forums for feedback and advice.